Say What? We're Talking Birth Contol in 2012?

Yeah, I know. We're well into the second decade of the twenty-first century, but this election year has loosed a jaw-dropping Republican attempt to create a partisan wedge issue out of whole cloth. The issue: American women's right and free access to birth control. And Surprise, they're foursquare again' it. Huh? Sound like something out of the 1950's? Well, at least let's get the playing field straight.

When Congress passed the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) - gratuitously dubbed Obamacare by its opponents who were banking on - and desperately scheming for - its demise, the keystone to its implementation was the so-called national insurance exchange from which employers could purchase coverage for their employees.

Any existing healthcare insurer (Blue Cross, Aetna, Kaiser, etc.) would be required to meet certain minimum coverage requirements in order to qualify for the exchange. The law additionally specified that a range of preventative care be covered with no additional out-of-pocket cost to the insured - the unassailable logic that an ounce of prevention is worth untold millions of dollars in down-stream treatment costs.

Rather than getting deep in to the weeds of administrative minutiae, Congress opted to leave the specifics of these minimum requirements to the Department Health and Human Services to define. In the run-up to the 2014 implementation of Obamacare, these details fell under the purview of Obama appointee, Department Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.

For that, Secretary Sebelius proceeded to publish the recommend minimum requirements for preventative coverage. For all: colonoscopies and range of cancer screening; for men: prostate exams and PSA tests; for women: mamograms, pap tests, and birth control pills.

In excruciating umbrage to sectarian institutions under the vaunted First Amendment, churches-proper were exempted from compliance with any-and-all provisions that stuck discord between public policy and private faith. For that, a Jehovah's Witness congregation would not be compelled to cover blood transfusions for its staff, neither would a Catholic parish be required to cover birth control for its direct employees.

The quotidian obviousness of these standards would routinely fly under the radar of any partisan dogfight. But, alas, there was a fly in the ointment: Republicans in alliance with parochial right-wingers would unleash the dogs of partisan war on whom they perceived to be politically vulnerable - one Barack Hussein Obama.

Republican speaker John Boehner (above) uncharacteristically descended from the speaker's dais into the well of the House to deliver perhaps one of the most disingenuous and dishonest partisan diatribes ever uttered.

Piling on was an endless cast of Catholic prelates, denouncing the Obama administration of flagrantly usurping his constitutional mandate to protect the sanctity of religion against secular authority.

And not to miss a chance at grabbing the media spotlight, de facto head of the Republican National Committee trash-talkster Rush Limbaugh piled on heaping helping of his signature hyperbole - memorably dubbing Georgetown co-ed grad student Sandra Fluke a slut for her advocacy of contraceptives in the school's insurance program - further suggesting that she sell porn videos of her sexual indulgences to pay for her recreational coitus - rather than looking to the government for a hand-out. Fluke's 15-minutes' of fame would famously land her a spot on the 2012 Democratic National Convention speaker-roll.

Stripping away all of the partisan and parochial fireworks, It all boils down to the obligations of the Catholic Church as an employer in constitutional democracy. Catholics, under the aegis of a plethora of corporations, have extended their reach into a multitude of extra-curricular activities, including schools, universities, hospitals, charitable outfits - you name it. And no one is dismissing their eleemosynary contributions to our society.

But in doing so, they employ a broad range of private citizens - many of whom have no interest in their religion. Accordingly, they must abide by the Civil Rights Act of 1964, agreeing to not discriminate in hiring practices based on a gamut of constitutionally protected categories, including race, creed, national origin, religion - and soon to come, sexual orientation and gender identity.

The little mentioned caveat is that 28 states already require religiously-affiliated organizations - irrespective of their pulpit preachments - to cover birth control in their employee insurance plans. And notwithstanding that ninety percent of self-identified Catholic women use contraceptives at some point in their lives, the Catholic hierarchy - performing in the role of partisan shills - was itching for a political dust-up with the Obama administration:

Hey, we're run by the Catholics. You know what we say about family planning: ain't no such thing. Anything that interferes with ovulation and sperm implantation is verboten. Hey, the Pope said it; we believe it; that settles it. If you work for us, check your U.S. citizenship and your First Amendment rights at the door. You want birth control benefits in your group policy, tough shit. Shut up; get pregnant; go home; rinse and repeat.

It seems abundantly obvious that the issue is more one of control, than birth control. Do Catholic-run corporations have the right to consider all of their employees communicants - even though they are already required to hire without regard to religion? Constitutionally speaking, the answer is unambiguously - no.

For that, the Roman Catholic Church in the United States finds itself on the horns of a dilemma: get out of businesses that serve and employee at-large citizens or get with the government program. 

And alas, the Obama administration finds itself on a slippery slope to suborning theocracy: capitulate with Rome, tear down the firewall between church-and-state, and leave Thomas Jefferson spinning on a rotisserie in his grave.

OH BUT WAIT: Dateline February 10, 2012, Secretary Sebelius struck a sweet deal with the insurance companies - all based on a little actuarial arithmetic - something insurance companies are quite good with. It seems (surprise) that footing the bills for prenatal and maternity costs are one of the single biggest liabilities insurance companies incur - eating into shareholder profits like a buzz saw. It seems that reducing the number of unplanned pregnancies by a mere fraction would handily pay for the cost of contraceptives for untold hundreds of women.

So here is Sebelius' compromise: Any religiously-affiliated organization that objects to paying for contraceptives in its group policy may opt-out under Obamacare guidelines. The alternative: any insurance company participating on the exchange will agree to pick up the cost of contraceptives for those women - upon request - off-policy - and free of charge.

Done. Problem solved: 

(1) Churches need not fret that a cent of their funds is spent to undermine their sectarian doctrine; 

(2) Insurance companies - and their shareholders - are ensured optimum return on investment by minimizing unplanned pregnancy and maternity claims;

(3) American women receive critical range of family planning and preventative medical care; and

(4) The Constitution is spared - another day - from the ravages of  theocrats whose longing is to institute denominational dogma into public law.

Shitepoke invites those of you, with attention deficit disorder spans sufficient to accommodate a 12-minute vid, to inform yourself in the full PBS NewsHour report of the compromise.

Shitepoke.com, February 9, 2012

Calhoun GA

Post Script: But make no mistake about it - the unrepentant pandering of the Republican party on this one is an unambiguous assault on women's healthcare. Whether it be the boys in the Party or the boys in the clergy - none of the claimants has a single uterus among them.